Mr Andrew Puzder
CEO CKE Restaurants
Dear Mr. Puzder,
My name is Marc Marasco and I have been a loyal Carls Jr customer for over 30 years. For the love of all that is holy and good, I implore you to end your recent promotion of Two Western Bacon Cheeseburgers for $5.
Refined to its purest essence, your Western Bacon Cheeseburgers are haiku in cheesy burger form. With most cheeseburgers, I waste precious digestive energy on lettuce, tomatoes, and other leafy rabbit food nonsense. The Western Bacon Cheeseburger has no tolerance for these trifles. Perfection is a trifecta of patty, cheese, and bacon supplemented with a fried onion ring for crunch and barbecue sauce for texture. The flavors are poetry to my taste buds and impossible to resist at the 2-4-5 price point.
Please please end this sweet sweet torture. I can not continue to consume your Western Bacon Cheeseburgers at this rate and live to tell about it. However if I do die prematurely of cardio vascular failure, I relish in the fact that I will eat your Western Bacon Cheeseburgers every day in heaven.
Respectfully,
Marc Marasco
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2 comments:
Sounds like they need to send one of your "Burger Slayer" dog tags to your mother soldier.
I swear, sometimes I think you and Eric are the same person. He loves the Western Bacon Cheeseburger as much as you!
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