Garage Sale Goodies

Here is the stash of cash from our last two garage sales:



Between the two of them we brought in about $600. This paid for my PS3 and a bunch of random crap. Unfortunately getting rid random crap was the driving force behind the garage sales.

I also learned something the other day, people will look through a pile of crap priced at fifty-cents for twenty minutes and try to bargain you down to a quarter. Yet when you put it out on the curb for free, they will just run away with your shit.

Eat one for me Boys!!!

Unfortunately, your humble narrator was forced to hang-up the blue bathrobe. Once, I soared high up in the clouds and dared to touch the sun, but my wax tipped feathers failed and I spiraled back down to the harsh cold sadness that is Corporate America.

Chained to mission statements by my Blackberry, I will not be able to partake in Denny's latest bargain-y goodness:



Tim, Joel, Frank, Terrance, John, my friends, my countrymen, my compatriots, my brothers, eat a Grand Slamwich for me, your fallen friend.

Nacho Libre!!!!

And this is the reason why I'm on a first name basis with the Taco Bell employees down the street:



"Three five layer nachos, Marc?"

"You know it!"

Taco Bell Carnival Games

In my match.com days, I met quiet a few interesting people. One of which was a nice girl who was raised by carni-parents. When I heard about her upbringing, I took her out to the San Mateo county fair for our first date. She showed me some of the inside tricks for the skill games on the arcade. Ultimately we were a horrible match, but it was a fun date.

Speaking of carnival games, some of you have may have noticed that they took the water out of the "free burrito" game at Taco Bell. Now it is very easy to earn free burritos because you don't have to worry about crazy random fluid dynamics. After about five minutes of practice, I can score one 50% of the time. Even when you lose, all the money goes to charity. How good is that?



RULES OF THE GAME:

To win, land a coin on the bottom yellow platform. You control the platform position by turning the knob at the top of the machine. Prizes vary depending on the value of what you drop:
Nickels = cinnamon crisps
Dimes = tacos
Quarters = bean burritos

STRATEGY

(1) Practice and perfect your game with pennies. You won't win anything, but you won't lose much either.

(2) Position the platforms so that your coin will land directly on bottom most orange platform. The winning yellow platform is not reliably dropable from the top coin slot.

(3) Drop a few pennies into the inside slot to judge this position. You want to use the inside slot because while it might be harder to get a lucky orange platform bounce, it will be easier to spin the coin to the yellow platform. With perfect placement, you will get a lucky bounce and land about 60% of the time.



(4) Now the skill part is moving the coin from the bottom most orange platform to the yellow platform. There are two methods for this. One is the knock-bounce where you repeatedly nudge the knob in the opposite direction to scoot the coin to the yellow. This method is preferable if your coin dropped near the outside edge of the orange platform. The second method involves short quick mini-twists of the knob to try to scoot the coin over. typically centripetal force will move the coin over and out. So you have to make sure you don't fling your penny out too much.

If you perform this well you will achieve victory with your pennies:



(5) Once you master this technique. Play to win. I prefer using dimes because

• Dimes are smaller so it is easier bounce them in between the blades onto the lowest orange platform. 
  
• Dimes weigh less and have lower static friction so it is easier to nudge them onto the winning yellow platform.
  
• I like tacos.
  

So there you have it.  Have fun and share your results using my technique by commenting on this post.

Seriously, buy my shit... damn it!

We did a good job on craigslist selling my Belmont furniture.  I think the fact that it was used to stage my house really helped buyers visualize it in their respective abodes.  Gauging by the dozens of emails, I underpriced the glass coffee table and the leather sofas.  

I was also very happy to see the bedroom furniture go as it was terribly heavy.  Honestly, I would have paid someone else money to get rid of it.

I was surprised that my swanky and modern glass table hasn't moved yet.  

Since escrow closes on March 10th, now everything must go!  I bought the set on craigslist for $800 and I'm giving it away for $350.

Dead Man Walking

Mr Andrew Puzder

CEO CKE Restaurants

Dear Mr. Puzder,

My name is Marc Marasco and I have been a loyal Carls Jr customer for over 30 years.  For the love of all that is holy and good, I implore you to end your recent promotion of Two Western Bacon Cheeseburgers for $5.

Refined to its purest essence, your Western Bacon Cheeseburgers are haiku in cheesy burger form.  With most cheeseburgers, I waste precious digestive energy on lettuce, tomatoes, and other leafy rabbit food nonsense.  The Western Bacon Cheeseburger has no tolerance for these trifles.   Perfection is a trifecta of patty, cheese, and bacon supplemented with a fried onion ring for crunch and barbecue sauce for texture.   The flavors are poetry to my taste buds and impossible to resist at the 2-4-5 price point.

Please please end this sweet sweet torture.  I can not continue to consume your Western Bacon Cheeseburgers at this rate and live to tell about it.  However if I do die prematurely of cardio vascular failure, I relish in the fact that I will eat your Western Bacon Cheeseburgers every day in heaven. 

Respectfully,

Marc Marasco

National Pancake Day

Holy Pankcakes Batman!!! Your friend and humble narrator is slipping. Thankfully Ms. Lovely Lauren has my back reminding me that tomorrow is IHOP's National Pancake Day!!!!


That's right recession weary folks, on Tuesday, February 24, 2009 from 7 am to 10 pm, IHOP will give you one free short stack of buttermilk pancakes! I invite all my unemployed friends (and Keith) to join me at this IHOP at 1pm tomorrow for pancakey goodness.


RSVP to me or my blog.

Buy my Shit, damn it!

I've listed most of my furniture for sale on craigslist. You should buy it. I'll give you a good deal. Here are some of the bargains that are available:

Black Leather Sofa Set (5 pieces) - $450
Oak Bedroom Set (4 piece) - $400
Modern Glass Dining Room table and 6 chairs - $500
Oil painting on canvas - $69
Glass coffee table - $40
Dresser - $40
Dresser - $25
Solid wood end tables $20 each
Matching lamps $15 each

Just think. If you buy some of this crap, I'll even help you move it. Otherwise, you'll have to help me move it when I clear out the place.

Sold

We accepted an offer on the Belmont house last Tuesday night. With the buyer's contingencies expiring in an hour, hopefully its a done deal!

Overall, I think the transaction was a win-win. We priced the joint to sell and it was easily the best deal in Belmont. By all accounts (including our super spy Chris G.), the buyer was ecstatic about his purchase. He's going to get a sweet house in a primo neighborhood for less than a cool million.

On the flip-side of the coin, we received an incredibly clean As-Is offer at our asking price one day after the open house. We don't have to worry about declining real estate or that new low-ball listing on Lincoln Ave.

I would have liked multiple offers and a small bidding war, but I think one offer means we priced it right. Onward and upward. Selling in a bad market kind of sucks, but now we get to buy in the bad market.

Oops I(kea) did it Again...

I am pleased to announce that once again, IKEA will be serving free breakfast until 10:30am from Friday Feb 13th to Sunday Feb 15th 2009. Offer not valid at IKEA Hicksville, IKEA Houston, IKEA Pittsburgh, and IKEA Direct.

Deals on Mark Ecko Star Wars Collection

Heads up folks! Today while on a secret mission at Valley Fair mall, I noticed that the Mark Ecko store had their Star Wars Collection on sale. Hoodies were discounted from $88 to $39. T-shirts were slashed to $14.99. I picked up a Vader hoodie.

Go get 'em while the getting is good. Every boy would love a Star Wars hoodie for V-day.

UPDATE:  My secret mission was a success.  Bex got her favorite H&D pears for Valentines Day.  By popular request, here are some pictures of the hoodies.  They still have them at valco.