Officially Endorsed by Odd tOdd!!!

As many of you know, I'm a finalist in the Every Man Jack contest. Vote for me Marc M (the first row second column). No registration required.

Even if I don't win, the super-coolio thing is that I have just received endorsement from the living legend Odd Todd!!!!! I can't tell you how stoked I am about this!

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Every Man Jack !!!

"Ask not what your Marc can do for you, but what you can do for your Marc." - Marc

Friends, neighbors, countrymen, you have succeed in voting me into the finals for the EveryMan Jack contest. Thank you so much for your support. As a wild card entry, I was already rejected by the Jack judges so you and you alone got me into the finals. I am humbled by your generosity and I gladly will share my yearly supply of soap with every single one of you.



But I still need your help. Please vote every day in every way for me over the next two weeks. In making it to the finals, I have a very real chance (1 in 3) of winning a trip to Vegas. The grand prize winner even gets to appear in Men's Health Magazine.

You know, when I entered this contest, I didn't even know what Every Man Jack was. They sent me a coupon, and I went to Target and bought some of their body scrub. I like it because it smells good without being too girly-girly. Rebecca likes it because it is dye free, SLS free, and paraben free... I guess the net-net is that it is affordable, keeps me clean, and won't give me cancer. So I would feel good about being a spokesman for Everyman Jack.

Bro Code Article 5

"Bro Code Article 5: Whether he cares about sports or not, a Bro cares about sports."

Did you catch that sharks game last night?  3-2 win in overtime?  holy crap what a rush!!!  Go sharks! high five!  fist bump!  super cool!!!!!

Chuck Norris is a Wuss

Ok. Maybe Chuck Norris is not a wuss. I'm just saying that because I hope he gets pissed, kicks down my door, and hits me. Then my days would consist of waking up late, walking to the mailbox, and cashing my check from Chuck Norris' lawyers. I could go a long way on that Walker Texas Ranger money.

But seriously, what's the big deal with Chuck Norris? Despite the internet hype, he is not an invincible bad-ass. Truth be told, Chuck is a right wing, gun loving weirdo who wants to roundhouse kick the Theory of Evolution in favor of Intelligent Design. But, that's ok. Chuck doesn't have to agree with my political beliefs to garner my respect

He does, however, need to star in one good movie. Can you think of a passible Chuck Norris movie? Go ahead, try. Name one if you can. It ain't the Octagon, nor Side Kicks. Chuck Norris' only legendary on-screen performance was his debut in Way of the Dragon. You remember that one don't you? When Bruce Lee kicked the living shit out of him. Here is a refresher:



Who's the tough guy now, Chucky?

Editor's Note: As a working stiff, I have to write many of my posts ahead of time and then schedule out over the weeks. Just last night, I saw a TV commerical stealing this exact idea... well they didn't call Chuck Norris a wuss, but they did reference his ass-kicking in WoD. Son-of-bitch! I knew getting a job was going to screw up my life!!!

Barbecue Joe and Captain Kirk

Listen up folks because I've been sitting on this one for a while, and it is definitely blog-worthy. So as some of you know, my old man is Barbecue Joe.



What I am about to tell you is LEGEND... wait for it... DARY!

This Christmas, Barbecue Joe sold a Traeger Smoker to Captain Kirk himself, Mr. William Shatner. But that's not all!!! Pops also included a day's worth of secret grilling lessons as part of the package. Mom and Pops drove down to LA-LA land and catered the protein for Shatners' Oscar Party.

Don't believe me? check this out:



The only role your humble narrator played on this away mission was organizing the delivery of the smoker from the freight company to Shatner's abode. My pinball shipping experience came in handy; but Bob, who is a piano mover by trade, really hooked me up.

Next on the agenda for Barbeque Joe is the Memphis in May barbecue competition. He's assembling a team now including Mike and Aimee who have relocated in Tennessee.

Down in the dumps

On Tuesday, I rented a cargo-van and filled it up with trash from the garage.



Rather than abusing Janna's dumpster rights, I took my refuse to the Allied Waste dump in San Carlos. The last time I went to a dump, it was a land-fill site where you pretty much throw your crap in a big hole. This dump was more like a cavernous warehouse serviced by huge bulldozers pushing together giant piles of rubbish. Here is a picture, but to be honest, this is only one of the little sub-piles. I couldn't get far enough away to get a mega-pile in view.



I really liked the dump. For one thing, everyone there was pretty happy. I think people enjoy working for Allied Waste. For another, I was in a place where I was allowed to throw stuff around and break things. I have been walking on eggshells staging the house for the last three weeks. Doing touchups on touchups is not my idea of fun. With the mountains of trash, machines of twisted metal, and crashing noise, I felt very manly with my garbage.

The guys in the slot to the right of me were unloading ceramics and tile out of a commercial truck from what looked like a commercial bathroom demo. They were obviously on the job and at the pinnacle of dudeness.

On my left, a GMC truck rolled in about the same time I did. Surveying the trash, I could tell it was residential house cleaning stuff. The guy who stepped out looked like an expired frat dude in his 30's. I commented "nice shoes", when I saw he was wearing basketball high-tops. That was a dead giveaway that he was really a button-down khakis guy like myself. He gave me the "what's up" nod, but I wasn't fooled.

I laughed, said "race you" and the game was on. We furiously started throwing out our shit as fast as we could. Midway through unloading, the dude started berating me based on my empty boxes. "Oh chocolate fountain, how sweet... you pussy." I couldn't stop laughing. We had about equal loads, but the old frat dude beat me by a mile and drove off. His advantage was that he could just stand in the truck bed throwing stuff out while I had to hobble in and out of my cargo van. So overall the competition wasn't very fair.

It cost me $62.50 to unload my crap and I had a lot of fun. I'm getting more intimate with my rubbish on an ongoing basis. Maybe the next time I see that dude at the dumps, I'll be the winner.